| The Internet has created a new and oftentimes more emotionally damaging type of bully: The cyber-bully — one who can follow you home.
“Before everyone was online with multiple computers at home, bullying stopped at three o’clock,” said Monika Wierzbicki of the Canadian non-profit anti-bullying organization Stop a Bully. “There was a sort of buffer. Kids could go home, see their parents, have dinner and to some extent forget about bullying for a while. Now, a person can potentially be bullied non-stop, not just in school.”
Katie Neu, 20, knows this all too well. The Listowel, Ont., resident and founder of Bullying Canada became the victim of intense cyber-bullying when she was a high school student. The relentless hateful messages eventually pushed her to leave school and continue her studies from home.
“I would get bullied at school, then go home, turn on my computer and be victimized there, too,” said Neu, who has continued to do college and university courses online. She said even now she still receives hate mail and has negative comments put on the Internet about her.
Anonymity
Wierzbicki said the Internet has changed the course of bullying irrevocably. Where traditional schoolyard bullies had to engage in face-to-face contact with their targets, the online world provides bullies with relative anonymity. As a result, bullies feel protected and do and say things they would otherwise not do in person.
In fact, a 2008 University of Toronto study cited on bewebaware.ca found that 75 per cent of the young people who admitted to cyber-bullying someone had never bullied anyone offline or face-to-face.
After-effects
Wierzbicki said that bullying, regardless of the form, can have impli-cations for many years
following the incident for both the bully and victim; however, the Internet has compounded the effects because of the immediacy and scope of the medium.
“Pictures and comments can be posted and seen by (potentially) thousands of people in a matter of minutes,” said Wierzbicki, adding that even if a bully repents and removes the offending material, a limitless number of people may have already seen it and downloaded it.
And the offending posts may not just haunt a bully’s victims.
“Because employers now have the ability to check up on (prospective employees) by googling them, or checking their Facebook page, any cyber-bullying a person committed has the potential to negatively affect their job prospects,” said Wierzbicki. “The Internet can keep a record of previous negative behaviour that can be accessed by anyone who wants to find it. Discovered months or even years later, it can reflect poorly on a person who may in fact have already made amends, changed their behaviour and become a completely different person.”
Consequences
According to Media Awareness Network, a Canadian media and digital literacy organization, more kids may be likely to engage in bullying behaviour online because they can’t see or hear the effects of their actions and because many forms of social media lack supervision.
As a result of the increase in cyber-bullying incidents, in 2007 Ontario made changes to the province’s Safe Schools Act, introducing a new legislation that made cyber-bullying an offence for which a student can be suspended or expelled from school.
Reader response
Re: “My bully, my friend” (Jan. 30). We asked: Should reformed bullies reach out to their victims or leave the past behind?
@Aquaryan1972: I had to let go my pain of the bullies. However, I have not forgiven the adults who ignored my pleas for help
@redsaidfred: If a bully wants to make amends and the victim is willing, why not? Sounds like a #happyending
@laurynzmum: I had a childhood bully apologize to me many years after
@onijoseph: it depends if victims consent to bullies contacting them.
@unconvmummy: Absolutely but skip the hey bro arm punch! An apology via email or note goes a long way towards closure.
@anitaelizar: Not everyone can forgive their bullies.
Via Facebook: Tj Freezn: It’s good to first ask qualifying questions, so that they don’t turn into an internet bully too lol. I’m glad you two patched it up! :D
Re: “Girl-style bullying vs. boy-style bullying” (Jan. 31). We asked, What’s more hurtful — social alienation or physical bullying?
@acidmiasma: Physical bullying is more hurtful. Social aspect usually the hidden motive, boys or girls.
@jme_morin: Social & physical bullying are both equally hurtful. A combo of the two is worse.
@markyeg: social alienation
@kirkschmidt: through either means, the emotional impact is hard to shake, and never fully leaves.
#BulliedNerd
@WalterRogers1: All methods of bullying are not acceptable
@rjperry61: As a principal I found dealing with phys bullying far easier than psychological bullying! Both happen to and by boys and girls
@LiannePerry: That’s a really odd question.
Who can answer for everyone? We are individuals, all affected differently. #Bullying
@inuk37: Bullying is bullying — abuse is abuse
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